Cybersecurity Imposter Syndrome and Burnout

hey everybody Welcome to the panel discussion on burnout and imposter syndrome it's going to be led by V Danny devil many of you know it's going to be a discussion of three to four people with three outline questions specifically on how have or have not experienced imposter syndrome specific to cyber security hacking what courses that may be due to diversity or specifically cyber security hacking Niche and how not just to get into security but to stay in security and in the community give it up y'all thank you so much and thank you guys thank you everyone for being here I really appreciate your time and um biggest thank you to the panelists already but um yeah exactly what he said my name is

V I go by Vanity double or just V my actual name is Victoria I do share it but I just go by V because I'm really bad with names so that's kind of the way um I wanted to talk about imposter syndrome and burnout in the hacking Community because I feel like it's something that maybe we need to talk about more as far as uh we have lots of resources and talks always at conferences like these are like how to get into security what um what what uh sorry what uh certifications to get what school to go to all those different things about getting in but then there's not a lot of people who talk about okay once you're

in cyber security and you're a senior you've been in for 10 15 years and you still don't feel like you know you're doing or you know you're still like everyone going on Google and copying paste code and just like oh yep that's I did that and you know maybe not feeling the same level of accomplishment as if you had written in then not you know spiraling so um I wanted to do some introductions uh discuss uh about burnout imposter syndrome what's unique to the hacking community and then get right into the panelist questions a quick disclaimer any in all opinions expressed here are of my own and do not reflect my employer and I believe that

is the same for my three panelists um I'm 10 years in cyber security I'm a GRC specialist and I also do VC so GRC work uh through my own LLC um I've done previous talks here at b-sides at Dallas hackers Association and a dc214 including things about facial recognition drag makeup NFC chips and Nails um data privacy and menstrual tracking apps as well as applying a threat model to an individual in a personal life as far as helping protect your own family's data and privacy I want to introduce uh Vicky or Victoria um I know Vicki from actually one of my first talks I had talked about facial recognition and drag makeup and how it

can stop the um infrared cameras from actually recognizing you and why that's a good thing and we had some long discussions about makeup and inclusion in the community as well as you know Building A diversity to help support the community Victoria did you want to say a little about yourself oh [Music] no awesome um let me think um so yeah I am um a trans cow I think that's kind of where I come at it where you just kind of learn not to give a [ __ ] and when you get cancer you really don't give a [ __ ] and that's kind of my point kind of where I'm coming from um I've got a back ride in data science

I've been a DBA but I also have kind of the cyber security background like doing things like yeah I really don't trust you I'm gonna kind of go a dick and finding all kinds of horrible holes and things on the blue side of things I haven't done red team um trying to think of anything really interesting um found a back door so I could chat into uh Elvira's chat in the 90s um I may have accidentally broken into the EPA in college accidentally may have allegedly um what else oh social engineering I'm a big proponent of social engineering and using practical jokes that are not malicious as a way to practice and expand your skill set and after the talk

ask me about Lupe and some of my social engineering with preachers and people telling me try to selling the warranties extended warranties I've had some fun talks with those people

next I wanted to introduce Ray known as Sensei hacker here in the community and I've known Rey through Dallas hackers Association we've had a lot of good conversations about different roles we've had in the industry and talking about how he's become a Sensei and mentor to a lot of folks in the community and I think that he has a really good perspective from that uh experience and have seen a lot of things so okay well yeah I've been on the security part of the packing for about 25 years now um built a couple of businesses I sold before I went all corporate and you know working for other people uh and I guess hacking hardware and things as long as I

can remember I guess I was six years old I was taking Electronics apart and trying to solder them with the big Plumbing you know Southern gun and that didn't work very well on electronics but hey um I don't know I'm interested in just just about everything in hacking but what he's been really cool um be mentioned uh GHA it wasn't until kind of recently that's like three years that I kind of discovered that I can communicate locally rather than just online you know pbses or whatever back in the modem days and this has just been awesome getting to know all the people that's so cool thank you so much Ray and next I'd like to introduce Frankie I

know Frankie from a previous workplace um we bonded over the fact that I had the same wig as her and this is back when I had a I was bald so I was occasionally wearing a wig because I was like oh I want long hair today and so we ended up actually talking about that in the proper way to glue down our wig and um but I've also known Frankie through her work in that company being a very big proponent and leader in the diversity space for huge large corporation um bringing in uh different monthly events for women for underserved communities and uh she now is a professional or they are now a professional comedian uh here in Dallas

hosting House of Blues uh best persons of comedy nights on a very frequent basis hilarious show go ahead and attend um and it's also fun to be friends with a comedian who knows how to tell a joke and can then apply it in the most nerdy ways so Frankie thank you V that was awesome uh yeah that's how I met her also uh she fixed one of my eyelashes one day my nose falling off and I was like you're my friend forever because my whole red team just looked at me like crazy all day um but yeah I came from a network and web app uh pen testing background uh then they saw that I like to do extra

things like not my job um and volunteer and they're like you know what you're good at being a strategist so I became a strategist and developed fintech's first women's cyber rotational development program and it's thriving um also women cyber security workshop for kids with Victoria a v that's fine and also Lindsay over here she was also part of the workshops way back when um but yeah uh this is why what I do now is uh comedy I said [ __ ] it oh can we curse I mean I don't think anyone here is going to be grossly offended probably You Gave Me puffed up Skittles all right if anyone's interested in uh actually Skittles uh we got a business idea that

we formed here and made a business at lunch with with Quantum so I want 20 he's going to be at your local Farmer Market soon um so yeah that's a little bit about our panelists and thank you guys so much for being here I really appreciate it so what is burnout uh just to kind of level Set uh it's a syndrome conceptualized resulting in a chronic workplace stress doesn't always have to be workplace just to be very clear actually um that has not been successfully managed and it can be in three different dimensions be it uh feelings of energy depletion just sheer exhaustion fatigue increased mental uh distance from your job so kind of disassociation and

depersonalization also feelings of negatism cynicism and reduced professional efficacy so how well you feel you're you're doing or how well you're actually doing potentially in your your role imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings and of inadequacy so uh despite uh evidence success so it's kind of like you know you're having a really good quarter uh your boss is like oh you're doing amazing uh you get you know above Meats uh expectations and you're just like Oh I thought you were gonna fire me I thought I was doing so bad that uh and that happened to me this summer I genuinely went into my uh mid-year review I'm like oh my God I'm

gonna be put on a pip what is it process Improvement plan or something personal Improvement plan

hopefully um but yeah so it's not always a good thing if you're in like corporate to be put on that you know it is like the next step to eventually being potentially laid off essentially or what have you and so I'm I'm thinking I'm like I'm doing terrible I messed this up I messed this process up and then I go into the meeting and she's like you're doing a above and beyond and we're looking at potentially uh giving you a raise like next year I'm like are we looking at the same stuff so you know perception plays a lot into imposter syndrome uh it's not necessarily someone who feels like they don't belong in the community or the the

role if they're not actually performing if you're just you know not good this is specific to evidence successfully oh nope cool that's not thank you guys what no oh my goodness where'd it go reader messages real quick nothing interesting don't worry just social scary numbers you know I just text them um so that's what burnout and imposter syndrome is um things that cause burnout in particular as a combination of stress versus stressors um this goes into uh stress causing a fight or flight or freeze reaction in your body when the stressor uh stress and stressor are working against you they can be work stressors Financial stressors emotional stressors so like in your relationships or dealing with

bosses dealing with co-workers um not getting paid enough or feeling like you're overpaid sometimes for your role that that is a challenge for some people um then that's kind of uh what then leads to burnout the constant building of these stress and stressors and not managing them there's actually 12 stages um you know typically it actually starts really good you just have excess drive and ambition you're really you know go-getter and you want to sign up for everything at your job you want to say yes to everything um you get signed up for things voluntold and you want to prove above and beyond but then push yourself harder to work neglecting your own needs maybe

you're staying up later maybe you're not eating as well you know we've all had those days probably you're you're working and you just don't have time to even go to the restroom because you have back-to-back meetings [Music] um then you go to like blaming uh others for uh the stress you're under all the way down through feeling detached inner emptiness or anxiety losing meaning that depersonalization feeling like you've lost yourself and your passion to depression and mental and or physical flaps uh which can actually lead to Serious heart issues long term so how we see it in cyber security or how I've seen it in cyber security is multitude of ways which is why I wanted

to bring a panel and talk about the different experiences they've had with these uh challenges in their careers and what they've seen um personally I've felt imposter syndrome in the sense that I've never felt technical enough so kind of like hey I'm presenting at a hacking convention or conference and I'm just like I don't know what some of these panelists are even talking about when they're going into all these containers and I'm just like I'm just like I don't do I don't do coding I'm not Technical and my friend who couldn't be here today Chuck he uh actually kind of uh leaned into like no you are technical you've talked about these things again that imposter

syndrome of not feeling like you're fulfilling what you're expecting to get or holding yourself to a higher standard um so yeah we're gonna go ahead and just jump into the panelists questions and let them speak to their experiences um and the first question will start off with Frankie have you ever experienced a burnout or imposter syndrome in your career and how is that uh affect your perception of working and information cyber security all right a minute and a half all right something like that [Music] that's okay no yes to all the things so um I will say this uh it got to a point where uh I was working on my computer 6 a.m to 3 A.M meetings globally and I

felt the right side of my face slump right and you know what I still didn't get it checked out at the time it's insane and what you're doing you're so hyper focused especially if you're neurodivergent like myself you you get hyper focused and you're like I got to get the work done gotta especially before uh the report of your uh ratings and reviews and um and quite honestly I did not know I was pregnant at the time I Lost My Baby after a month so that's when I knew okay I am working too hard yes I am achieving and all this and getting all these things but I did not even realize and get to check in

with my own self and my body um and make that Paramount but I made my employer the initiatives the the goals that I had set Paramount and uh so yeah short answer is yes yeah thank you holy [ __ ] follow that I don't know if I can follow that uh oh my God I'm gonna go to the room and cry I'll be back a little later um so yeah I'm gonna come at it a little bit different um my experience has been hey we need to fix X hey we need to fix y hey you're gonna get hacked hey I did a Security review hey why are there why is there nearly 40 million dollars missing from

your account yeah that's been my experience I worked for a company which I won't say I did a Security review my first week in four months later they were hacked through social engineering someone sent them malware changed the wiring instructions on a blown and that money went to a Eastern European bank and nobody noticed so my experience has been as in a data professional say hey we need to fix this and nobody listens so the way I keep my blood pressure down is I can give you all the information but I can't lead an ass to water and make them drink um and you just gotta let it go that's been my thing and if it bothers you too

much you change jobs and you know as a data professional I've done that a lot and it's been very rewarding and actually ironically the job I have now I I thought I was applying for Akamai yeah was it it was a different company and it's actually a really good company and I love it um but you know I mean you just kind of deal with it and we've got all kinds of problems and the big thing is that I deal with is you never let go of a crisis that's change that's when you take you give them the data you push it and say hey this is the time we need to move that's been my experience never waste a

crisis because I've always been in the team that says hey we need to fix this we need to do this we need to do that we can show you all kinds of security holes but if no one wants to fix it it doesn't get fixed until someone wires 20 million dollars to you know Eastern European countries and there's nothing you can do about it yeah Frank you guys win this round 1 000 points um thank you but yeah I uh my probably my biggest imposter syndrome moment was when I bailed out of a multi-million dollar deal that I had put together I assembled some of the the top Business Leaders back in the at the time

on the internet this is back in the late 90s when the internet was small um and you know I put together some some top leaders and we were all going to get a cut Edition and I just kind of bailed out because eventually they're going to figure out that you know I'm not a big shot like they are ah that was incredibly incredibly stupid um and that's been the next 10 years probably um you know feeling that imposter syndrome well I was developing standards I was doing you know doing good work but just I guess there we go they shouldn't be going to sleep a little bit hey it wouldn't hurt to uh touch the touchpad every now and

again just for fun um where the heck were oh yes um what was the multi-million dollar deal for was it for an ISP or something or um essentially it was a if you did a top eight who's who of the online porn industry fight everybody in the room that did all the different parts of porn and we basically did a deal where we were gonna get like five to ten percent of everybody else's money and split it so yeah so we basically get like five to ten percent of all the foreign money ever made but yeah um we're good we're going somewhere uh yeah anyway thank you but yeah so that potentially was led to

the fact or you know that happened partially because you thought like well I'm not a big shot but yeah yeah I'm like okay you guys are the big shot sure I put the deal together but you guys are the big shout out y'all just go hide in the corner um and I spent the next 10 years hiding in the corner it's like when when I spoke at my third grade daughter's school for like career day or whatever and I'm like I'm a hacker and all the kids are like and I felt the same way even though I've been doing it five ten years it's like oh but real hackers are so cool like that's not me uh until I

actually got connected to the local community and got to know some local hackers and like we speak the same language and play with the same toys and like I am one of you guys yeah which was so cool absolutely so like before the Imposter syndrome you know we talk about impossible it's been trending um I I'd like to look at it differently because it feels like you're speaking negative over your life um maybe it's the intellectual elitism that you faced in the workplace and there's only one way of learning or one way of working with someone that they expect from you um it's not I feel like one for example I wanted to train a

different way for cyber security education and this particular person a white man uh wanted to make sure that the learning track was exactly the way he learned it was 50 11 books I said sir not everybody's gonna read this why why don't we add some video games why don't we add some tactical learning something to be accessible um but I I got shut down and I thought damn I I guess I'm not a smart assistant and uh I just took that on and embraced it instead of saying nah I could see things with a different perspective than he can um and uh that's been my whole career I think a carry if he's here in the room

um he's sat down with me many times to mentor and um me and hacking and everything like that but I just learned differently and I I took down three uh database centers all at once through a nice nmap scan that's found now but if their servers were whack so but anyways you know it anyways that's that's the end of that I think you touched on something critical there that um I want to kind of expand on it and take it in a different direction um that I think it's true for me and I know it's true from for some friends of mine um like recalculate you talked a minute ago about you know feeling like you weren't

really one of us or whatever because you know you're not down in the code in the catch skills right and you know I have felt the same way because people talk about these policies giac or whatever the hell that is I have no idea what that is I can write assembly code right I can get in get into the firmware do whatever the hell you want to do the stuff she talks about this she works on every day happy with I don't freaking understand and I think that's we could probably come up with a delicate different groups here if not 50 different groups it's all the different things that's the thing about security yeah it's everybody has

different skills different ideas and I can look at it and go well I don't know 90 of it insecurity if you know 10 of the entire security field give me a resume actually in which what I told her I'm like send me your favorite resume because you know [ __ ] I don't but you know we each feel like we're missing something well yeah because nobody knows everything right a huge portion of that is you know kind of wanting to to know it all I think I said the other day the more you the more you learn the more you know you don't know and that makes you feel or some people feel like shortcomings like oh my God I

don't know anything about this domain this domain and everyone else does and feeling like you have to do more and more and more which sometimes leads to that burnout um and over over stressing yourself um I wanted to shift a little to see if uh y'all have ever had any experience of like social media burnout or experiences with imposter syndrome on say social media uh because it's a huge area of the cyber security Community is online it's Twitter it's Discord um LinkedIn to a certain point as well and seeing sometimes everything people are posting and what they're doing and that highlight reel it's an overexposure specific to cyber security um because so much of the community is

online so have you all experienced anything relating to that with your social media [Music] personally I don't really I mean so from a social perspective yes because from a trans person imposter syndrome kind of seeds inside of you every day but as a techie I just go oh neat how the hell did they do that [ __ ] I need to learn that and I want to dig and I want to learn and I want to do that so not so much really social media social media kind of gives me things that I want to focus on okay more than like Alyssa Knight who's a trans gal she does some cool [ __ ] with

cars like she's at a level that I really wish I was at and like that would be like if I was paid to hack in the Cars by the federal government I would be that would be like the dream job for me so yeah at one level I feel kind of like wow why am I not as smart as her but at the same level I'm like well I want a totally different path I've got a degree in sociology and philosophy um I know gangsters in Boston I've had a completely different life she had I mean you know while while long heavy Industries was doing their thing in downtown Boston I was hanging in the

North End drinking with you know The ferula Syndicate I mean it it was just a different my life was in a different place back then yeah um so so yeah I mean sometimes I do kind of when I compare myself to other trans girls who are in Tech like Alyssa and some others I think damn I'm a [ __ ] but then I like well you know cut yourself some slack look and see you in a different area you want a different path and [ __ ] it it's okay who cares um that's badass uh I didn't know I was sitting next to somebody that's associated with Gang Related activities oh no my next door neighbor literally

got raided by the state police I'm walking up the stairs they're like what are you doing here I live here go in your apartment oh okay well yeah I lived up to some really sketchy freaking people same uh uh social media I'll say LinkedIn God dang it LinkedIn so I you know clearly you know I get all the accolades I'm in cyber security I'm a growing leader I'm an industry leader cool I jump ship I decide to choose me I want to save myself and redeem myself uh got a ton of messages what are you doing why are you leaving cyber what I could get you a job here you don't understand you were leading like

the whole generation blah blah blah and I was like I need to save myself do you not understand that and then when I decided to chump ship which was comedy no one was like oh are you okay uh is everything all right uh I don't like yeah no I'm serious I'm gonna do this I took my first comedy class last year now I wrote comedy for 10 years but I oh I did it in Tech conferences I did it at my public speaking at work but no one [ __ ] knew so I was like nah I'ma really do this [ __ ] and I'm now contracted by Live Nation I have three shows monthly House of Blues Dallas in

Houston I took my skills that I learned in Corporate America and transferred it over to something that I wanted to do so currently everybody's now realizing this all my co-workers and my old companies and they're looking on LinkedIn like yeah what's going on you know I got a job for you it's okay you don't have to do this it doesn't make a lot of money I know you're good you know and I have to face that and I have to challenge myself like no this is what I want I know it's not cyber but I will always be a cyber security evangelist always um because it granted me economic Mobility out of a economically deprived

background I grew up in New York in the hood this is and who's to say you don't have you can't go back to it I mean it's not like Oh no you're gone you can never go back right I mean [ __ ] I'm here I was like you want me to speak you sure um but the thing is I can't discount the last 10 13 years in it and eight years in cyber security that that knowledge that will always stay with me yes I'm not hacking every day no I'm not practicing I'm not hands on the keyboards anymore however I can still find gaps I can still find vulnerabilities even in people's conversations I socially engineered my

way to get to the thing that I wanted today don't tell him that uh we're there there you go thank you let me check out your social media Twitter or whatever it's probably freaking hilarious he's making fun of some dumbass security [ __ ] um always yeah I I just stayed away from social media until recently um I can't I don't know how you can be on social media every day and not just get burned out by the [ __ ] um especially right now I I just got on Twitter what two or three months ago because that's where the approached people are like it or not that's where that's where it is um for me I'm going down on the friggin

Paula cake and the other crap because I love cyber security I love hacking give me all of that and okay you know give me a comedy form to give him akcd [ __ ] whatever like give me the hardware the software whatever um the the Twitter info set community tends to have a lot of people with strong political ideas some of which class some people know some things and some people Nothing things are wrong and I yeah that's what burns me I want to read I don't know no I got it I just love calling out Ted Cruz and you know at it you know I mean I really get off of that stuff it's like dude you are a

whack-a-mole [ __ ] crazy I mean like have you ever read the Texas Republican like um platform I mean it is wackadoodle like there's literally items in there about seceding from the [ __ ] Union like I can't make this [ __ ] up so yeah I kind of get off but I'm also kind of like so one of my side gigs is I'm a chaos coordinator for a book that I'm writing um so yeah I I tend to stir [ __ ] and laugh but not in a mean way but very yeah but you know I just discovered and everybody here probably noticed this except for me so you guys can just laugh at me and I

just recently discovered that on Twitter you can have like the muted words where it mentions like Elon Musk don't even see the Tweet yeah oh my God I'm gonna put take prayers Republican Democrat Trump all that [ __ ] and I'm not gonna see any of their posts unless they're about security and I'll be happy all right I think overexposure of social media and that's my personal opinion can definitely burn people out whether it's their intended subject of what they're looking for be it information security and they're just getting all this noise versus just the overwhelm of the speed of the cyber security and hacking industry because there's always something there's always something you got to keep up with the next hack you

know that's why we have the news at dc214 we have the Patch Tuesday like what all is going on and there's so much to keep up with and sometimes I think some people get overwhelmed by that and just completely shut it out see that's why I like databases because it's the same stupid [ __ ] again and again and again oh my God like it's the same exploits that I see I'm like no you don't want to do this no this is a bad choice right yeah that's that's one of the reasons why I do like database is because you do see the same bad security practices in it right to have the same conversations with the same or different

people but yeah yeah well hopefully not the same people every time no no not the same people sometimes it feels like it is um my next question was have you ever been rejected in your career that made you feel as if you didn't belong and how did you react to that you want to start with right this time all right uh actually the first like two years I was trying to get into kind of corporate just hire these cyber security coming out of having my own companies and whatever yeah like first two years I could not freaking get a job anywhere you know I already felt like I was kind of like the fake Internet

Security guy like not a real security guy just an Internet Security guy and oh my gosh yeah um and you know I probably would have given up except I was hungry y'all probably thought I was gonna say I was hungry for something I was hungry I needed a job to get a paycheck so I had to just keep applying um unfortunately a friend of mine like told her boss hey this Ray guy's freaking genius awesome whatever he was killed when he said that but you know like got me a little job at a little government agency so yeah awesome so I want to tell a story about Satan's barometer so I worked for a help desk so who here

has heard of EDS electronic Data Systems the worst soul-crushing company you could ever work for I worked for a comp I worked for EDS in Boston and Natick um for uh Blue Cross Blue Shield and I worked for this woman by the name of ambar I'll use her real name we called her Satan's barometer and the reason was is there were some things that even Satan couldn't do and so Satan would use her as a barometer that job I was so beaten down like that was probably my experience that I just realized I nearly left I applied to SMU for I came this close to getting my MBA and just leaving Tech forever like I was

going to move back to Texas get my MBA forget about tech and then I got my first tech gig Realtek gig at a company in um Wakefield Mass and I stayed but I didn't think I could do it I was literally out there giving coffee every day so that the other um tech people wouldn't think I was an imposter and I was like hey you want coffee you want coffee you want coffee I'll make a copyright I'll be right back like that's how desperate and scared I was and I just studied my ass off and just beat you know just learned as much as I could as fast as I could and um am I even answering the question

I'm kind of random yeah it was about rejection in your group the first time I really really beaten down I think after and Barr I built a shell that couldn't be pierced after that I was just like there were some jobs that I applied for that I had no business applying for sure I I kind of knew it and I would get on interviews and I could tell on interviews like yeah this guy's a severe [ __ ] I do not want to work for this person one [ __ ] was literally on his phone during the interview and I was like I think I'm gonna get up and leave here but um but yeah yeah

[Music] I uh so I will say this I transition from the technology space to operation space in the tech space I was the only uh black person most of the time let alone only woman in my team um but I never felt rejected by them I don't care how different our opinions were um even when we did talk about Trump I I there was always something to laugh about there was always something to talk about I'm grateful for my upbringing because we could talk about wrestling in the workplace be good to [ __ ] I could Rey Mysterio your ass like I we would talk about cars we would talk about all the things video games I I

never felt rejected and I I think my brothers uh actually for you know even getting to be a part of his upbringing um because it allowed me to be accepted by the guys um and I knew that was my angle in order for me to be accepted I have to play this game and it was code switching for me but it was natural to me so um I could joke about you know strategy and uh welfare joke okay you guys are good is this also where we had the Nerf gun wars right yeah and so but when I went to operations uh I couldn't bring that same humor over and I quickly realized oh I am alone and

um I I was definitely uh there was this one comment it wasn't said to me it was my teammate that said to our supervisor and she stated she communicates differently so I can't work with her so she allowed her to refuse our weekly one-on-one meetings my entire position while being there I I never felt so rejected only because she didn't like the way I communicated and um one time uh my supervisor while we were talking she was like are you being facetious I'm like of course this is a terrible job why not I'm miserable you yell at me every week like so um I I just I loved working with the guys in the tech room and then when I

saw other women like V Lindsay showed up I was like oh there's hope I'm not the only one and more black people hey what's going on um I was so excited so like in the last 10 years I saw me being alone to now more people that look like me were in the room and I was so I was grateful for that but yeah when it got to the more pin buttoned up type it's different but it can work so I learned how to speak their language social engineer them and then I Rose through the ranks because I mimicked them code switch but uh other than that yeah yep that's my experience so I think

what we were just talking about ties into this and I think having that connection you had with your brothers to be able to make with those guys having your connection with your friends on the internet and the community on the internet um that Community specifically is what helps get rid of parts of imposter syndrome parts of your burnout because you're creating that connection and helping drive your your purpose um I was going to do this as how is your involvement the community affected you but I just saw the five minute warning and so I wanted to make sure we have at least a few uh questions um I saw a hand of the back first

how much do the Absurd job postings play into imposter syndrome um probably a lot and I will say from a woman's perspective we are less likely to apply for a job than a guy if we don't meet every single line on these job postings if that number is 60 percent men apply for jobs if they meet 60 of the qualifications on a job app women wait till 100 percent y'all need to get it together and that job let my job listing has been there six months I'm still waiting for you guys to apply ladies if you meet 60 70 percent send me your resume please it's a wish list not a freaking requirement next question

I like that security is becoming more mainstream now and people are starting to realize oh crap this is something we actually have to care about um but I feel like a lot of the focus is on the technical side and not the non-technical side when um a lot of other presentations I hear about a lot of things that I see I see the root problem is not a technical problem right like you talked about a lot of the the database issues being the same well a lot of it's because the laws haven't changed like we talked about why am I still using Windows 7 why am I still using Windows XP well because the aircraft

that I got certified with the FAA requires that it stayed update I literally can't change it right so have you seen any kind of bias or imposter Syndrome from that perspective of I'm not technical but I don't want to be and how have you kind of approached that I'm going to say for at least myself yes and yes and I don't think we have a ton of time but I'd love to talk more on that but that's partly why I wanted to have this discussion with the panelists today is because I've been always telling myself I'm not technical I'm not a hacker and you know I may not be explicitly a hacker but I am technical even though my

specialty is governance risk and compliance real life if you can track down a cheating boyfriend on social media you are a social engineer period that's your Baseline and work off of that anybody can be a technologist come on you got a question I was just going to say I think um gatekeeping which you experienced with the training the guy wanted you to train only the way that you that he wanted you to do it gatekeeping online and on social media also people coming in with women and mansplaining things that maybe the woman even wrote the book on those those things contribute a lot to imposter syndrome absolutely

um HR gate keeps whenever somebody comes up with a requirements for a job what you see on that ad out there is typically 50 [ __ ] on and another 30 Buy in from managers who you'll never interact with I've interviewed candidates after HR came up with a list I fired folks and then trained them who had at best 20 percent of the stuff that was asked for and that typically wasn't good HR and upper management expects these folks to hit the ground running which is completely unrealistic because they don't know your corporate culture they don't know which website to go to to get anything accomplished the minimum to get a new and let's face it in a new job

regardless of your experience I I hate to interrupt you but our time is is up because we have another speaker coming in probably everybody in the audience could do five or ten minutes on this topic but do we have one more like a question yeah for the panel an actual question

talk your [ __ ] uh so one of my main things I wanted to advertise is the hacking Community again kind of tying back to this connection with other people uh in that Community uh involvement really helps you disassuage your imposter syndrome that just like you said earlier starting to come to these things over the past few months few years has really like oh I am one of you guys I think that really really helps and I also just said see the table outside for all the meetups um that in-person connection is really valuable and also mentoring mentors yep that's the biggest dude conferences and mentoring I think are the two things for me personally for me

I can come in I hear all these speakers and I don't know how to [ __ ] but for me to get off like a DHA for 15 minutes and do a talk on the [ __ ] I know that little thing I know and then have three or four or five people come with me afterwards and they want to know more yeah that that is key to me because I realized wow like these real hackers they're coming to me with questions about the thing I know and I come to them with questions about what they know yep absolutely and you know trying to be candid with yourself and acknowledge your actual strengths um if anyone would like to talk even

more after this I did uh have even uh for Burnout uh something about ikigai and helping find your purpose and reason um I'll distribute this on Twitter um and yeah at vanity devil these are the Instagram and twitters for uh the folks uh the panelists thank you guys so much for uh being here today and thank you everyone for being here for your questions and comments I really appreciate it thank you thank you let's go get a cannoli over here